Monday, February 9, 2009

I didn't mean to hit her. But she kept on yelling at me. She told me the usual - I was stupid, I was so ugly, how could a little s*** like me be her son, I should be ashamed of myself, I was too unintelligent to go to school. There was a kids help line I would ring that would help and give me advice. But usually they couldn't do much. And my cell phone broke when she pushed me once. She made me stay home some days. Didn't ask me, she didn't have to, but who else would help her get out of her alcohol induced state? Who else would make sure she ate? Who else would make sure she would have a shower? She worked three times a week as a cleaner at the cafe down the road. She hated working there. It was for business men and women and she felt degraded. It dint help she suffered from muscle spasms which would cause her to walk funny. She had been taking soma to relieve it, but it had gotten past the point of medication. She would come back and would look out the window of our caravan and then she would catch me looking at her. That's when Mum would start yelling. "What are you looking at you ugly boy? Go and leave me alone. Go find your father. that's right, he left because of you and your stupidity. It's because of you I am like this." On that day I just had enough. She punched me and told me I was pathetic along with all her other verbal abuse. So I hit her on the face. She didn't black out but she didn't hit me again. Still, she yelled at me.